4.13.2009

What's Your Porn?

Okay, so porn is pretty much just porn. It is merely looking at something you know is wrong that makes you feel guilty, but you look anyway. You're compelled to scan luring images that promise to satisfy your hunger, just one more time. Or maybe two. It waves it's 'satisfaction guaranteed' banner with a declaration to thrill beyond shame. A promise, of course, it can never fulfill.

It's just a click away.

It's compulsive.

It's addictive.

It's junk food for the eyes.

It's a dark, beckoning secret that promotes unhealthy isolation and interferes with the very relationships we need for nourishment and growth. But we all have our 'I know I probably shouldn't be doing this' moments. Usually followed by, 'Well at least I'm not looking at porn'. But are you? Is there an image that constantly pops up in your mind? Money, chocolate, a video game maybe? A website that you feel compelled to 'check out' several times a day? A TV episode that you must watch or you can't seem to relax? Your form of 'porn' can be anything that prohibits your productivity, slowly robs you of your creativity or interferes with your relationship with Christ or your family. Just because something isn't stereotypically labeled as bad, doesn't mean it isn't bad for you. My porn of choice is Ebay. I collect action figures and am lured in daily with the promise of a 'first appearance' figure in original packaging. A 'rare' comic book character who will make an appearance in the next movie re-make of a classic superhero. I have to keep looking for the best deals. I can't miss a chance to find a real treasure whose owner has no idea what they have. I seek a million dollar collectible with a ninety-nine cent price tag.

I click.

Compulsively.

To the figures I am addicted to.

To consume more junk food for my eyes.

I spend countless hours in front of my laptop, searching, hoping, bidding. Basically wasting time. Time in which I always end up feeling guilty about. Time I could have spent with my husband. Time I could have spent talking to God, listening to God, reading the Word of God. Time I cannot get back. Porn is any distraction that takes time away from our interaction with God. He is our bread of life. What we need for daily edification. The 'porn' we accept as part of our daily routine gives rise to willful addictions. It separates us from our purpose.

For some people I know this can even mean knowledge, trivia, anything they can read or research to make themselves feel empowered, like they've taken charge of their own mind...until their mind tells them they need more wisdom, more facts, more study time so they can feel the release of tension once again. We get lost in the candy dish of technology whose ingredients rot our spirits. Our porn is whatever makes us feel in control of our own life, but in reality controls us. It is what we wake up thinking about, go to bed wondering about, daydream while we go about our business. It is what makes us secretly feel weak. It is anything that right before we do it, we think, 'I should be doing something else right now'...but we do it anyway.

Our porn is any negative behavior we've unconsciously made a habit in our daily activities, scheduled in our minds, or anticipated during stressful moments. As Christians, we'd never admit to looking at pornography. We push all subjects relating to sex aside for the perverted. Instead, we've developed a nice tolerance for judging others. Like people who look at erotica. But we have our own dirty little habits that keep us from reading our Bible or taking time to talk with God. We blame our children, our pets, our spouse, our busy schedules, our hectic church activities even, yet we never take responsibility for the actions we do in place of the ones we should do. We expect a million dollar inpouring from a ninety-nine cent outpouring.

So next time you just have to check out the stats of your favorite team, watch TV to see who got voted off which show, obsessively log into your social networking account, play to one more level on your game console, surf the web for 'just a few more minutes', make sure you didn't get outbid on Ebay, send yet another text, or consume one more bite of junk food, remember that you are mentally getting off on knowing you independently used your time, in your own way...but satisfaction is never guaranteed. It only lasts until the next time you stimulate your addictive behavior. Eventually, you'll feel the void of consumption pulling you farther from God. Shame will expose your filthy little time wasters.

What then? Treat yourself to the same wisdom they share with people addicted to actual pornographic images. Stop making excuses. Stop listening to modern morality that claims you can continue negative actions without continuing negative reactions. Stop tolerating a reward system for bad behavior. Stop feeling guilty...God isn't mad at you. He knows your only human. He knows your weaknesses. He also knows you were created in His image and can do all things through Him. We all crave some type of junk and give in to a form of porn. But we also have the God-given strength to confront our problem. We have God on our side who won't allow us to walk down paths of unrighteousness loaded down by shame any longer. Start a good habit of communicating more with God to replace the poor habits you've so freely practiced.

He's just a conversation away.

He's compassion.

He's affluent.

He's nourishment for the soul.