8.16.2009

That Man

I want to talk about someone everyone is talking about
but no one is ranting about
while they rant
about
going on about man
the man
everything that's wrong about
a man
your man bashing lyrics
are tired
but you spit them anyway

so its my turn
to talk about a man too
a good, kind, honest, loving man
I want to rant blessings over him
a man
who calls just to say hi
thinks I'm hilarious when everyone else thinks
I'm just high
or delirious
lays hands on me when I'm sick
brings home action figures to say 'feel better'
because he knows I don't like flowers
'they are already dead when you bring them home'
I said

the first time he bought me someone else's idea
of romance
he reads every single thing I write
and thinks it brilliant
seriously
he goes on and on about my words of passion
when all I wrote was
'walk me down the isle of life
and give me away to my dreams'
because he cherishes my dreams like they are his own

and what about his dreams
the ones I promised then took away
but he never mentions to spare me the pain
all he wanted
was to hold his own flesh & blood in his arms
name his son 'the third' to follow his 'Jr'
look in the eyes of his daughter
to see the eyes of his wife
so he can call her 'Jewel'
and protect her with his life
only to lose those tiny dreams
he held only in his heart
when I
who promised him the world in my youth
lost my womb
lost my hope
in the world I promised
still in my youth
no longer knowing what to do with my youth
barren in dreams in my youth
with a man who speaks life into my youth
still in his youth
saying, 'It's okay. I love you'
and is telling the truth

what about that man
who devotes his time to caring for me
the ill of body
of spirit
of mind
who never complains
never blames
or wishes for change

what about a man who
knowing everything I'd put him through
all the ways I'd break his heart
still wouldn't hesitate
to say I do
all over again

a man that ten years ago
slipped his promise around my finger
sliding it deep into my heart
and still honors our covenant
morning by morning
from his chafing knees as he thanks God
despite everything, for me

what about that man
the one who provides nourishment to my
body and my soul
who still can't help but smile every time he says my name
stays up late just to talk a little longer because he
likes what I have to say
then lays awake watching long after I'm asleep
just to see if I dream of dreaming again
because he still believes in me
still believes in us
still believes I'm beautiful, more so each day
still believes I won't hurt him
because he sees my good when I only see shame

what about the man who knows I can't look him in the eyes
only seeing the pain I put in them
only seeing the tiny dreams I took from them
yet he forces me to look up
seeing his love for me in them

what about that man
the good man
the man of integrity and character
the man of God
why does no one talk about him
about this black man of strength and power
who uses his strength to lift me up
and his power to fight for me
for my life
for our family of two
what about that man
what about
that man
what about
that
man