Okay, now that I wrote about the price paid for a treasure like you, I want to turn my focus to the fact that, when Christ died, just for you, just for me, He didn't stay that way! Thank you, Lord, for coming back for us! He is risen...
...but why? Why did Christ come back after He laid down His life for us?
Because He wanted to redeem us! That was His plan all along: to redeem man. He loved us so much He gave redemption so we could have eternal life. It was the plan from the beginning when Adam and Eve ate the fruit...God wanted to redeem them! The resurrection was a physical symbol of what God did for our souls. Christ took all our sins, once and for all, so we would no longer have to practice Old Testament rituals. Believers used to bring pure lambs into their homes, treat them as family, then offer them to God so He could wash their sins in the blood of the lamb. That was the only way they could be forgiven. But not us! Christ was our lamb. In His one, unfathomable act of grace, He took our sins and removed them from our lives, passed them through His resurrecting power, and drained them out clean, forgiven, becoming the ultimate Lamb of God.
Now that's a big deal!!
That is how much He wants us to live our new life in heaven with Him. Our father wants His children to come home. What a beautiful display of affection from our creator; our redeemer!
Easter is the day when Christians celebrate Jesus’ eternal life, and our own, by believing in him. And oh how I believe! I am proof that the mouths we've wrapped around man's lies and used to spit out their rebukes can be washed out with the blood of Jesus! The same mouth I've used for despicable things, is the same mouth I now use to worship my savior! Praise God for His gift of redemption!
Have you accepted your gift of redemption and eternal life from Christ? If not, I'd love to talk with you. If so, I'd love to hear about your journey from forsaken, to forgiven.
4.04.2010
An Easter Gift for You!
Be encouraged, my beloved treasure. I have a gift for you today. It's not a new gift, but it's precious and dear to me all the same. It has been used. It's been battered. I found it abandoned, lost, searching for what, I'm not sure. But there it was, shinning bright beneath a layer of filth. When I placed this jewel beneath the living waters, I watched a stunning gift emerge. Are you ready to accept it? Here it is...
...YOU! YOU are a gift who's price was costly. Death. But it is because Christ paid so dearly for you that He wants your eyes open to the truth of your worth. Precious. Priceless. The sum of God's glory. That is what you are.
My gift to you can only be accepted one way...
Walk away from the computer screen, leave all your insecurities behind, and go stand in front of the closest mirror. Hurry- it is important that you don't let this gift pass you by again. Now, look deep into your eyes that were created in Christ's image and repeat to yourself, "I am a treasured gift. I am a treasured gift."
Repeat it again.
"I am a treasured gift. I am a treasured gift. I am a treasured gift."
Let it seep in how valuable you are. Don't you dare walk away from that mirror until you feel the weight of your words. Until you believe them. You are a treasured gift and it's about time you started acting like it.
Did you accept this gift as truth? Let me know, I'd love to celebrate your Easter gift with you!
...YOU! YOU are a gift who's price was costly. Death. But it is because Christ paid so dearly for you that He wants your eyes open to the truth of your worth. Precious. Priceless. The sum of God's glory. That is what you are.
My gift to you can only be accepted one way...
Walk away from the computer screen, leave all your insecurities behind, and go stand in front of the closest mirror. Hurry- it is important that you don't let this gift pass you by again. Now, look deep into your eyes that were created in Christ's image and repeat to yourself, "I am a treasured gift. I am a treasured gift."
Repeat it again.
"I am a treasured gift. I am a treasured gift. I am a treasured gift."
Let it seep in how valuable you are. Don't you dare walk away from that mirror until you feel the weight of your words. Until you believe them. You are a treasured gift and it's about time you started acting like it.
Did you accept this gift as truth? Let me know, I'd love to celebrate your Easter gift with you!
2.19.2010
Exfoliating the Hard Places
Lately, I have met so many women who say they've been hardened by life. It's no wonder. Life is hard. It rubs up against us and leaves a new rough spot with every trial, every heartache, every tribulation, every loss. I've met these women in the isles of the supermarket, behind a counter in the mall, sitting next to me in a coffee shop, and at the sink in a restroom. Young, beautiful women who love life, but are struggling to enjoy it. I am encouraged that each of them, sometimes after involuntary tears, others after long hugs, and one, after a breakdown right there in front of other shoppers, said they were trying not to let the hard places remain. Oh the joy I felt when I saw their eyes moisten with hope! And even though I didn't want to stop the happy tears, I knew exfoliating off their hard places wasn't going to be easy. I know, because I've experienced the softening of my heart. But as difficult as it is in the beginning, when your all good and warmed up in God's grace, His peace passes all the pain and causes you to melt in His goodness.
You certainly don't forget all the hurt, how can you, for it brought you to where you are today. But, somehow, it no longer makes a difference. All that matters is where God brought you to, not where He brought you from. And then you keep wrapping yourself in His grace and goodness until you can make it out of bed. Then out of the house. Then out in the world of scrutinizing eyes and tongues that hiss with judgment and sympathy. Then, out of pain, and into your new normal. I do not believe we can just adjust our attitude and move on. I think it is impossible, without first grieving our losses. Our lost loves. Our lost dreams. Our lost plans. Our lost promises. Our lost futures and the visions we held so dear, believing they were all we had going for us...that we were nothing without them. When we do that; say goodbye to what we hoped for and acknowledge what we are now, then we can move on. We can wake up, look at our new faces in the mirror, hardened eyes and all, and let God make something beautiful out of what's left of us. He always paints a much prettier picture than anything we could have imagined. And it's a good thing too, because I don't believe we'd be happy and satisfied if He left us in our old picture of perfect.
You certainly don't forget all the hurt, how can you, for it brought you to where you are today. But, somehow, it no longer makes a difference. All that matters is where God brought you to, not where He brought you from. And then you keep wrapping yourself in His grace and goodness until you can make it out of bed. Then out of the house. Then out in the world of scrutinizing eyes and tongues that hiss with judgment and sympathy. Then, out of pain, and into your new normal. I do not believe we can just adjust our attitude and move on. I think it is impossible, without first grieving our losses. Our lost loves. Our lost dreams. Our lost plans. Our lost promises. Our lost futures and the visions we held so dear, believing they were all we had going for us...that we were nothing without them. When we do that; say goodbye to what we hoped for and acknowledge what we are now, then we can move on. We can wake up, look at our new faces in the mirror, hardened eyes and all, and let God make something beautiful out of what's left of us. He always paints a much prettier picture than anything we could have imagined. And it's a good thing too, because I don't believe we'd be happy and satisfied if He left us in our old picture of perfect.
1.20.2010
God IS Enough- working link!
Here is a re-posting of my Dec7th blog with a working link :)
I really wanted to share this with you all. I was moved by this pastor's message. He speaks my heart...that God is enough...in ALL things!
Video from Matt
I really wanted to share this with you all. I was moved by this pastor's message. He speaks my heart...that God is enough...in ALL things!
Video from Matt
12.07.2009
God IS enough!
I really wanted to share this with you all. I was moved by this pastor's message. He speaks my heart...that God is enough...in ALL things!
http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/blog/hvpastor/
(You will probably have to copy & paste the link since I couldn't get it to copy. It is worth the extra few seconds, trust me. The video I want you to see is from December 6th, so if you are catching this in later weeks, you may have to scroll down to find the video labeled, 'DEC 06- Video From Matt'.)
http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/blog/hvpastor/
(You will probably have to copy & paste the link since I couldn't get it to copy. It is worth the extra few seconds, trust me. The video I want you to see is from December 6th, so if you are catching this in later weeks, you may have to scroll down to find the video labeled, 'DEC 06- Video From Matt'.)
11.30.2009
Indention of The Cross
Glory Maple, standing amongst naked limbs. Fire-red, shrinking inward before I crunch beneath your rubber winter souls...for mine still clings to a trunk of sap-filled lies, waving with the wind in denial that you still see me. Begging that there's still photosynthesis for torn-apart leaves, that I can still make oxygen to help your flock breathe, instead of giving off rage for them to seethe. I place tissue paper over my dried veins, rubbing lead frantically atop their patterned pain, praying they scratch a mark in my bark-covered universe. Shaped like a heart, but smelling of cheap regret and costly tales. Pressed between pages of your Word, bleeding in verse, crying in song...This is how I fall...In the knowing that you are the gentle breeze, carrying me from limbs of change, blowing me in the direction of your narrowed path. You are the metallic, marking me L O V E D. You are the only air I need, for you bled in grace, and carved forgiveness on my rugged tree.
8.16.2009
That Man
I want to talk about someone everyone is talking about
but no one is ranting about
while they rant
about
going on about man
the man
everything that's wrong about
a man
your man bashing lyrics
are tired
but you spit them anyway
so its my turn
to talk about a man too
a good, kind, honest, loving man
I want to rant blessings over him
a man
who calls just to say hi
thinks I'm hilarious when everyone else thinks
I'm just high
or delirious
lays hands on me when I'm sick
brings home action figures to say 'feel better'
because he knows I don't like flowers
'they are already dead when you bring them home'
I said
the first time he bought me someone else's idea
of romance
he reads every single thing I write
and thinks it brilliant
seriously
he goes on and on about my words of passion
when all I wrote was
'walk me down the isle of life
and give me away to my dreams'
because he cherishes my dreams like they are his own
and what about his dreams
the ones I promised then took away
but he never mentions to spare me the pain
all he wanted
was to hold his own flesh & blood in his arms
name his son 'the third' to follow his 'Jr'
look in the eyes of his daughter
to see the eyes of his wife
so he can call her 'Jewel'
and protect her with his life
only to lose those tiny dreams
he held only in his heart
when I
who promised him the world in my youth
lost my womb
lost my hope
in the world I promised
still in my youth
no longer knowing what to do with my youth
barren in dreams in my youth
with a man who speaks life into my youth
still in his youth
saying, 'It's okay. I love you'
and is telling the truth
what about that man
who devotes his time to caring for me
the ill of body
of spirit
of mind
who never complains
never blames
or wishes for change
what about a man who
knowing everything I'd put him through
all the ways I'd break his heart
still wouldn't hesitate
to say I do
all over again
a man that ten years ago
slipped his promise around my finger
sliding it deep into my heart
and still honors our covenant
morning by morning
from his chafing knees as he thanks God
despite everything, for me
what about that man
the one who provides nourishment to my
body and my soul
who still can't help but smile every time he says my name
stays up late just to talk a little longer because he
likes what I have to say
then lays awake watching long after I'm asleep
just to see if I dream of dreaming again
because he still believes in me
still believes in us
still believes I'm beautiful, more so each day
still believes I won't hurt him
because he sees my good when I only see shame
what about the man who knows I can't look him in the eyes
only seeing the pain I put in them
only seeing the tiny dreams I took from them
yet he forces me to look up
seeing his love for me in them
what about that man
the good man
the man of integrity and character
the man of God
why does no one talk about him
about this black man of strength and power
who uses his strength to lift me up
and his power to fight for me
for my life
for our family of two
what about that man
what about
that man
what about
that
man
but no one is ranting about
while they rant
about
going on about man
the man
everything that's wrong about
a man
your man bashing lyrics
are tired
but you spit them anyway
so its my turn
to talk about a man too
a good, kind, honest, loving man
I want to rant blessings over him
a man
who calls just to say hi
thinks I'm hilarious when everyone else thinks
I'm just high
or delirious
lays hands on me when I'm sick
brings home action figures to say 'feel better'
because he knows I don't like flowers
'they are already dead when you bring them home'
I said
the first time he bought me someone else's idea
of romance
he reads every single thing I write
and thinks it brilliant
seriously
he goes on and on about my words of passion
when all I wrote was
'walk me down the isle of life
and give me away to my dreams'
because he cherishes my dreams like they are his own
and what about his dreams
the ones I promised then took away
but he never mentions to spare me the pain
all he wanted
was to hold his own flesh & blood in his arms
name his son 'the third' to follow his 'Jr'
look in the eyes of his daughter
to see the eyes of his wife
so he can call her 'Jewel'
and protect her with his life
only to lose those tiny dreams
he held only in his heart
when I
who promised him the world in my youth
lost my womb
lost my hope
in the world I promised
still in my youth
no longer knowing what to do with my youth
barren in dreams in my youth
with a man who speaks life into my youth
still in his youth
saying, 'It's okay. I love you'
and is telling the truth
what about that man
who devotes his time to caring for me
the ill of body
of spirit
of mind
who never complains
never blames
or wishes for change
what about a man who
knowing everything I'd put him through
all the ways I'd break his heart
still wouldn't hesitate
to say I do
all over again
a man that ten years ago
slipped his promise around my finger
sliding it deep into my heart
and still honors our covenant
morning by morning
from his chafing knees as he thanks God
despite everything, for me
what about that man
the one who provides nourishment to my
body and my soul
who still can't help but smile every time he says my name
stays up late just to talk a little longer because he
likes what I have to say
then lays awake watching long after I'm asleep
just to see if I dream of dreaming again
because he still believes in me
still believes in us
still believes I'm beautiful, more so each day
still believes I won't hurt him
because he sees my good when I only see shame
what about the man who knows I can't look him in the eyes
only seeing the pain I put in them
only seeing the tiny dreams I took from them
yet he forces me to look up
seeing his love for me in them
what about that man
the good man
the man of integrity and character
the man of God
why does no one talk about him
about this black man of strength and power
who uses his strength to lift me up
and his power to fight for me
for my life
for our family of two
what about that man
what about
that man
what about
that
man
8.14.2009
Use Me
You say you want to use me. But you are God. Can't you see I am useless? Worth less? Less than some other woman. Less than any woman.
Can't you see all those pretty, dainty, sweet women, who don't even like to swear? Can't you see there are other woman who are far more humble, meek, sincere, kind and worthy of you? Worth more than me. Worth more than a hundred of me.
How can I tell them how much you love them, when I won't accept that you love me? Can't accept it. Can't believe you offer it. Can't believe you offer it even after you look inside my heart and see me. Can't believe you want to see me. Want to love me. Want me. Me. You know who that really is, yet you pursue her anyway.
Oh my precious Jesus, please don't look at her. At the woman who's shattered pieces stare blankly back at me from mirrored glass. At the me I see. Not yet. Not like this.
Look at one of those women who don't like the way a wine glass feels in her hand or the tingling of champagne in her mouth. Who doesn't hold disdain in her mouth. Speak pain from her mouth.
Surely she can love you in the open air and not hide behind clean floors and polished nails. Surely she won't hide under her sparkling personality or beg you not to look at her when she cries, when she's naked, when she's scared.
You want a woman who won't think rafters and plaster can hide her from you. Hide her from the world. Hide her from her.
Trust me, my magnificent savior. I know what they need. I know what they want. I know. Know I am unworthy. Know I am unclean. Know I am not what they want. Not what they need. Not who you want. Not who you need.
Trust me, sweet gracious maker, you must be trying to speak to the lady next door. You know, the one who works in children's church. Heck, you might even want to talk to the woman across the street. I heard she has weekly bible studies over there. She even knows how to cook...and likes it.
Surely that's who you are trying to call. It's not my call. Not a call to talk to your creation. Not a call to spread your love.
All I have is You. You. You, my darling friend, are all I have left.
What? You mean that's enough? Your kidding right? I mean, your funny like that sometimes, so I'm just making sure. Oh. Your being serious.
You want me to trust you. Trust that I can still be used. Trust that I am wrong about you trusting me. That I am worthy of your love. That's why you died...for me. Even me?
Trust you. Trust that you really want me. To know that what I know is wrong. You do need me. Need me to tell them how much you love them. That you died for them. Especially for them.
Even when they are naked and ashamed. Even when they are afraid. Afraid of you. Afraid they are not worthy. Afraid they are useless. Worth less than others. Not worth your love.
Won't accept your love. Can't accept your love. Can't believe you are pursuing them. That you want them. You need them.
Even when they are unclean. Even when they are broken. Even when they hide from your grace. You will find them, fill them, use them, save them.
Oh my loving master, use me. Help me introduce them to You. To the One who made me, saved me, and showed me a mirror that only sees You. Help me reflect Your love.
Can't you see all those pretty, dainty, sweet women, who don't even like to swear? Can't you see there are other woman who are far more humble, meek, sincere, kind and worthy of you? Worth more than me. Worth more than a hundred of me.
How can I tell them how much you love them, when I won't accept that you love me? Can't accept it. Can't believe you offer it. Can't believe you offer it even after you look inside my heart and see me. Can't believe you want to see me. Want to love me. Want me. Me. You know who that really is, yet you pursue her anyway.
Oh my precious Jesus, please don't look at her. At the woman who's shattered pieces stare blankly back at me from mirrored glass. At the me I see. Not yet. Not like this.
Look at one of those women who don't like the way a wine glass feels in her hand or the tingling of champagne in her mouth. Who doesn't hold disdain in her mouth. Speak pain from her mouth.
Surely she can love you in the open air and not hide behind clean floors and polished nails. Surely she won't hide under her sparkling personality or beg you not to look at her when she cries, when she's naked, when she's scared.
You want a woman who won't think rafters and plaster can hide her from you. Hide her from the world. Hide her from her.
Trust me, my magnificent savior. I know what they need. I know what they want. I know. Know I am unworthy. Know I am unclean. Know I am not what they want. Not what they need. Not who you want. Not who you need.
Trust me, sweet gracious maker, you must be trying to speak to the lady next door. You know, the one who works in children's church. Heck, you might even want to talk to the woman across the street. I heard she has weekly bible studies over there. She even knows how to cook...and likes it.
Surely that's who you are trying to call. It's not my call. Not a call to talk to your creation. Not a call to spread your love.
All I have is You. You. You, my darling friend, are all I have left.
What? You mean that's enough? Your kidding right? I mean, your funny like that sometimes, so I'm just making sure. Oh. Your being serious.
You want me to trust you. Trust that I can still be used. Trust that I am wrong about you trusting me. That I am worthy of your love. That's why you died...for me. Even me?
Trust you. Trust that you really want me. To know that what I know is wrong. You do need me. Need me to tell them how much you love them. That you died for them. Especially for them.
Even when they are naked and ashamed. Even when they are afraid. Afraid of you. Afraid they are not worthy. Afraid they are useless. Worth less than others. Not worth your love.
Won't accept your love. Can't accept your love. Can't believe you are pursuing them. That you want them. You need them.
Even when they are unclean. Even when they are broken. Even when they hide from your grace. You will find them, fill them, use them, save them.
Oh my loving master, use me. Help me introduce them to You. To the One who made me, saved me, and showed me a mirror that only sees You. Help me reflect Your love.
8.03.2009
One-Stop-Shop Prayer
Last night I found out that two of my favorite people in the world are moving far away from me. I won't go into how deeply this information cut into my heart. I will say that as I type this post, I am still watery eyed with emotion and trying to recover from the two and a half hour bawling session I had in bed after they broke the news and left. I know I'm going about this like an infant. I don't care. When it comes to love, I fall hard, and I smacked myself good with this couple from the moment they entered my life. I fell in love instantly. You know how once every three decades or so there is that person, or that couple, that just gets you? Those people who share your same dorky obsessions and humor and tastes for life and God. Those people who both you and your spouse get along with (which almost never happens)? Well that is the couple I will soon be loving from a distance that feels bigger than the universe.
But the thing is, I asked for it. God even prepared me, but I still feel like I got the wind kicked out of me. I still cried when they told me, and I still ache for them even though they haven't even left yet. No matter how much preparation we are given, we sometimes get caught in a wave of desperation and cry out in sadness or anger or confusion. And that's okay. It's what makes us human. It's one of the ways we know we need God, because it's gonna take the kind of comfort only He can give to get us through the night. And it's gonna take God to remind us that sometimes, we asked for our own heartbreak. Now I'm not saying God wants to cause us heartbreak or pain, so don't send me hate comments just yet. I promise God is still the superhero in this tale. What I'm saying is, His intention wasn't to break my heart, but in order to answer my prayers, separation has to come. And that is where my heart gets broken; being separated by several states from someone I love.
In a pathetically desperate cry to my savior to rescue my saddened heart, I asked God why he bothered introducing these people into my life if he was just going to take them away. It seems like a pretty stupid plan to me. I mean, I'm not God, so I'm just throwin' this out there, but isn't that kind of like giving a little kid a puppy, then once they've got it trained to bring them cookies and milk and do their homework and give them advice about those mean kids at school, you send another little kid to his house to take the puppy away and say it's best for the dog? Cause that's exactly what happened. Just when we perfected the art of friendship, God told me it was best for my friends to move closer to their family. He knew they could help bring all those prayers I'd sent His way into fulfillment. So like I said, sometimes, we ask for our own heartbreak.
Since the first day I met the woman of this fantastic duo, I've asked God to heal her body. To give her satisfaction and fulfillment. To break through her bitterness and help her see how very much she is loved and appreciated. I asked for Him to strengthen our bond and help our friendship be a source of strength. I also asked that I would be the kind of friend she needs, not the kind of friend I need. I wanted all this from one prayer. From one relationship. It was a 'One-Stop-Shop Prayer'. I wanted God to do all those things within the walls of my abilities and understanding. I expected that what was best for her was me. That what was best for her health was to stay in Tulsa with my friendship at arms reach. That all she needed to get through her issues was the relationship we share. But that's not how we're supposed to pray. We aren't supposed to put limitations on God. Why would we even want to? Can you fathom how much better His solutions are than ours?
As I was crying, my heavenly Daddy revealed to me that, gasp!, He cares for my friends and family just as much as I do. And more. Let me say that again in case you started daydreaming during that last sentence: God cares just as much as you do, and infinitely more, about your loved ones. When you pray for your family and friends, God isn't just thinking, 'Oh, that's so sweet of you to think of them.' He is listening. Making provisions. Bringing the plans He already has for them into action. He is answering your prayers. And He is doing it with their best interest in mind, not the interest you had in mind when you thought the plan out in your head as you were saying those controlling words padded with scripture. He is healing them with His authority, not ours. His.
After I stopped crying from sadness, bless my husband's heart, I started crying from overwhelming joy. I was so happy because Daddy showed me that my friend will not only be getting healthy like she needs, she'll be surrounded by so much more love and support than I could ever give while she does. Also, her and her husband have an amazing business opportunity that's exactly what they've dreamt about since their marriage began. Hmmm...sounds like some satisfaction and fulfillment coming their way to me. She even went home for a visit recently and definitely felt the love, support and appreciation from her family that she needs, and in letting God work His miracles, answering every aspect of my prayers and giving me strength, I have become the kind of friend she needs too...the kind that lets her go. Had my prayer request been fulfilled my way, my friends would still be living near me, letting me rub my friendship potion all over their lives. We would get to remain close, and the healing would have come, but that's all. Because God knows what's in their best interest, and it's not JUST to get healthy or see a breakthrough. It's to receive miracles!
So as I sit, anxious to see all the great things God has in store for my friends, I wonder where I ever got the idea that I could pray one giant prayer, with a million requests, and have God answer it with only one miracle. He could do it. But He desires to do so much more. He isn't in the convenience store business, offering up answered prayers through simple, one step miracles. He is in love with us, offering up His grace, for an intricate plan with many, many miracles. I am teary eyed again, aching with joy, as I thank Daddy for showing me He still answers prayers. Even mine. Even yours. Even when they aren't answered the way we think is best. And even when it hurts to accept. The point is, He answers.
But the thing is, I asked for it. God even prepared me, but I still feel like I got the wind kicked out of me. I still cried when they told me, and I still ache for them even though they haven't even left yet. No matter how much preparation we are given, we sometimes get caught in a wave of desperation and cry out in sadness or anger or confusion. And that's okay. It's what makes us human. It's one of the ways we know we need God, because it's gonna take the kind of comfort only He can give to get us through the night. And it's gonna take God to remind us that sometimes, we asked for our own heartbreak. Now I'm not saying God wants to cause us heartbreak or pain, so don't send me hate comments just yet. I promise God is still the superhero in this tale. What I'm saying is, His intention wasn't to break my heart, but in order to answer my prayers, separation has to come. And that is where my heart gets broken; being separated by several states from someone I love.
In a pathetically desperate cry to my savior to rescue my saddened heart, I asked God why he bothered introducing these people into my life if he was just going to take them away. It seems like a pretty stupid plan to me. I mean, I'm not God, so I'm just throwin' this out there, but isn't that kind of like giving a little kid a puppy, then once they've got it trained to bring them cookies and milk and do their homework and give them advice about those mean kids at school, you send another little kid to his house to take the puppy away and say it's best for the dog? Cause that's exactly what happened. Just when we perfected the art of friendship, God told me it was best for my friends to move closer to their family. He knew they could help bring all those prayers I'd sent His way into fulfillment. So like I said, sometimes, we ask for our own heartbreak.
Since the first day I met the woman of this fantastic duo, I've asked God to heal her body. To give her satisfaction and fulfillment. To break through her bitterness and help her see how very much she is loved and appreciated. I asked for Him to strengthen our bond and help our friendship be a source of strength. I also asked that I would be the kind of friend she needs, not the kind of friend I need. I wanted all this from one prayer. From one relationship. It was a 'One-Stop-Shop Prayer'. I wanted God to do all those things within the walls of my abilities and understanding. I expected that what was best for her was me. That what was best for her health was to stay in Tulsa with my friendship at arms reach. That all she needed to get through her issues was the relationship we share. But that's not how we're supposed to pray. We aren't supposed to put limitations on God. Why would we even want to? Can you fathom how much better His solutions are than ours?
As I was crying, my heavenly Daddy revealed to me that, gasp!, He cares for my friends and family just as much as I do. And more. Let me say that again in case you started daydreaming during that last sentence: God cares just as much as you do, and infinitely more, about your loved ones. When you pray for your family and friends, God isn't just thinking, 'Oh, that's so sweet of you to think of them.' He is listening. Making provisions. Bringing the plans He already has for them into action. He is answering your prayers. And He is doing it with their best interest in mind, not the interest you had in mind when you thought the plan out in your head as you were saying those controlling words padded with scripture. He is healing them with His authority, not ours. His.
After I stopped crying from sadness, bless my husband's heart, I started crying from overwhelming joy. I was so happy because Daddy showed me that my friend will not only be getting healthy like she needs, she'll be surrounded by so much more love and support than I could ever give while she does. Also, her and her husband have an amazing business opportunity that's exactly what they've dreamt about since their marriage began. Hmmm...sounds like some satisfaction and fulfillment coming their way to me. She even went home for a visit recently and definitely felt the love, support and appreciation from her family that she needs, and in letting God work His miracles, answering every aspect of my prayers and giving me strength, I have become the kind of friend she needs too...the kind that lets her go. Had my prayer request been fulfilled my way, my friends would still be living near me, letting me rub my friendship potion all over their lives. We would get to remain close, and the healing would have come, but that's all. Because God knows what's in their best interest, and it's not JUST to get healthy or see a breakthrough. It's to receive miracles!
So as I sit, anxious to see all the great things God has in store for my friends, I wonder where I ever got the idea that I could pray one giant prayer, with a million requests, and have God answer it with only one miracle. He could do it. But He desires to do so much more. He isn't in the convenience store business, offering up answered prayers through simple, one step miracles. He is in love with us, offering up His grace, for an intricate plan with many, many miracles. I am teary eyed again, aching with joy, as I thank Daddy for showing me He still answers prayers. Even mine. Even yours. Even when they aren't answered the way we think is best. And even when it hurts to accept. The point is, He answers.
7.24.2009
(I am) God's Perfect Song
Angels dance upon my heart
their wings bouncing to the tune
of God's rhythm being played over my life
I hear them giggle as they connect
the notes of my destiny
and see my songs triumphant chorus
They shout in praises
for they know my final verse
humming it's melody God's sung into my breath
from the very last to the first
7.21.2009
Playing with the Devil
I had the pleasure of babysitting two of my favorite little guys yesterday, Jack and John. What I love about watching little ones is their absolute curiosity and fearless nature. Children always let you know what's in their heart and on their minds, and Jack always has something spectacular on both of his! So in our playtime, he wanted to play Bible stories. I love that the Bible is what Jack wants to act out. That those are the stories he's familiar with, jumping in and out of his imagination, forming his character and understanding of the things of God. Here's a chat we had...
Jack: I built us a boat! Let's play Jesus and the devil. You be Jesus!
Me: No way! I don't want to play with the devil!
Jack: Okay, I won't invite him on the boat.
It was that simple. A child knows if you don't want to play with evil, you don't invite it in.
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 (NIV)
Jack: I built us a boat! Let's play Jesus and the devil. You be Jesus!
Me: No way! I don't want to play with the devil!
Jack: Okay, I won't invite him on the boat.
It was that simple. A child knows if you don't want to play with evil, you don't invite it in.
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 (NIV)
7.18.2009
From Where Do We Speak?
Okay, so it seems like an obvious question. But we've all heard about men thinking with a specific body part instead of their mind. Well, the same thing goes for how we speak. No, not with that body part. Our heart! Are we speaking from our heart, or our hurt? Are we really speaking the words of love and encouragement that we know are bubbling from deep inside our heart? Or are we speaking words of judgement and hate oozing from our hurt?
When I started writing my latest book I included humiliating stories of abuse and lust and the confusing journey or trying to feel wanted and loved. I wrote the typical disclaimer that usually reads, 'The names and identifying characters of actual people have been changed.' Only mine said, 'Any similarities or characters in this book that resemble actual people is intentional. I want you to read about yourself on these pages and squirm just like I did living through it.' Then I had to go back and hit the delete button. That is not what I want my book to convey; humiliation and condemnation. I was speaking from my hurt.
I want the book to be from my heart. I want to help people find healing and peace in their walk through this sometimes paralyzing world. I want to tell people that God is so in love with them and if I can wear His grace, anyone can. That is my heart. But my hurts want to judge and make examples out of other peoples mistakes and miseries. Miseries that very well could have been my own. Mistakes that pale in comparison with so many I've made myself. But that's the problem with speaking from our hurts. They are usually louder than the love and forgiveness and hope in our hearts. If I speak from my wounds, my words will be bitter. If I speak from my heart, God can make them sweet.
Do you have a specific hurt (or hurts) that seem to make you say things you really don't want to? Do your words sometimes (or a lot of times) cause division when you really seek connection?
Daddy, we lift our hearts to you right now and speak restoration over the areas we desire change, but end up injuring with our words instead. Strengthen our hearts that they may speak louder than our pain. We love you so much, Lord! Thank you for helping others to see us as we are in our hearts, and not as we've spoken from our wounds. So be it.
When I started writing my latest book I included humiliating stories of abuse and lust and the confusing journey or trying to feel wanted and loved. I wrote the typical disclaimer that usually reads, 'The names and identifying characters of actual people have been changed.' Only mine said, 'Any similarities or characters in this book that resemble actual people is intentional. I want you to read about yourself on these pages and squirm just like I did living through it.' Then I had to go back and hit the delete button. That is not what I want my book to convey; humiliation and condemnation. I was speaking from my hurt.
I want the book to be from my heart. I want to help people find healing and peace in their walk through this sometimes paralyzing world. I want to tell people that God is so in love with them and if I can wear His grace, anyone can. That is my heart. But my hurts want to judge and make examples out of other peoples mistakes and miseries. Miseries that very well could have been my own. Mistakes that pale in comparison with so many I've made myself. But that's the problem with speaking from our hurts. They are usually louder than the love and forgiveness and hope in our hearts. If I speak from my wounds, my words will be bitter. If I speak from my heart, God can make them sweet.
Do you have a specific hurt (or hurts) that seem to make you say things you really don't want to? Do your words sometimes (or a lot of times) cause division when you really seek connection?
Daddy, we lift our hearts to you right now and speak restoration over the areas we desire change, but end up injuring with our words instead. Strengthen our hearts that they may speak louder than our pain. We love you so much, Lord! Thank you for helping others to see us as we are in our hearts, and not as we've spoken from our wounds. So be it.
7.16.2009
Little Girl, Little Sword
I watched 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' last night and was overwhelmed by the message it burned in my heart. (If you haven't seen the movie you might not want to read this until you do.) The scene that stole control of my emotions and left me whimpering like a puppy who just realized he ate all his food and his master will not be home for hours, was the screen shot at the end of the movie. We see young Lucy appear before an army, alone. She is standing there, in total peace, as she pulls out her tiny dagger and stands ready to fight.
My husband and I laughed because she looked so cute and pathetic just standing there with her miniature weapon. She is just a little girl with a little sword, who can't possibly take on the massive war that is raging before her. Then Aslan appeared. That was all it took. He opened his mouth and roared with a breath that devoured Lucy's enemies. End scene. But the end of the battle did not end the ache I felt lit in the depths of my heart. As I watched Lucy face an evil she knew she could not defeat, I felt as if I was watching myself. That I am merely a little girl, with nothing more than a metal nail file clutched in my palm, trying to win a fight with impossible odds. But the odds are not impossible for me. They are impossible for my enemies.
Lucy stood, then Aslan conquered. That was it. She trusted in the end result because she trusted in her protector. I see myself on a flickering screen before me and wonder if I have the courage to accept my own understanding of God. I know with him all things are possible, but am I willing to stand before evil and really know that my God will defeat it. To just stand there. To wait on God. This is what it takes to trust unconditionally. To stand in front of an army. Then God. That's it. Then God. I am alone, then God saves me. I am afraid, then God calms the waters. Then God restores my soul. Then God makes a way. Then God. Period.
My husband and I laughed because she looked so cute and pathetic just standing there with her miniature weapon. She is just a little girl with a little sword, who can't possibly take on the massive war that is raging before her. Then Aslan appeared. That was all it took. He opened his mouth and roared with a breath that devoured Lucy's enemies. End scene. But the end of the battle did not end the ache I felt lit in the depths of my heart. As I watched Lucy face an evil she knew she could not defeat, I felt as if I was watching myself. That I am merely a little girl, with nothing more than a metal nail file clutched in my palm, trying to win a fight with impossible odds. But the odds are not impossible for me. They are impossible for my enemies.
Lucy stood, then Aslan conquered. That was it. She trusted in the end result because she trusted in her protector. I see myself on a flickering screen before me and wonder if I have the courage to accept my own understanding of God. I know with him all things are possible, but am I willing to stand before evil and really know that my God will defeat it. To just stand there. To wait on God. This is what it takes to trust unconditionally. To stand in front of an army. Then God. That's it. Then God. I am alone, then God saves me. I am afraid, then God calms the waters. Then God restores my soul. Then God makes a way. Then God. Period.
6.25.2009
A King Dies.
As bloggers flee to their keyboards to peck a Michael Jackson story like vultures, and reporters sprint to the presses in hopes of breaking the ribbon of seeing their name in the headlines under that of a legend, I can't help but wonder if this is what it would have been like the day another King died. No, not the "King of Rock 'n' Roll", but the King of Kings. Jesus. What would the headlines read?
Would writers lace up their sandals and join the tabloid race to label him blasphemous and insurrectional? Or would they take a more positive spin and compare him with John the Baptist as they paired Jackson next to Elvis? We all know how far and fast Jackson's fame spread as he moonwalked his way into our culture, but what about the popularity of a man who could public speak the tie off another King, Martin Luther. And Jesus could heal people. He performed miracles. Did you hear me? He performed miracles! He made blind people see and paralyzed people walk!
Would writers lace up their sandals and join the tabloid race to label him blasphemous and insurrectional? Or would they take a more positive spin and compare him with John the Baptist as they paired Jackson next to Elvis? We all know how far and fast Jackson's fame spread as he moonwalked his way into our culture, but what about the popularity of a man who could public speak the tie off another King, Martin Luther. And Jesus could heal people. He performed miracles. Did you hear me? He performed miracles! He made blind people see and paralyzed people walk!
And Jesus had no photographs or radio or TV or Internet to spread his fame mind you. All he had was a reputation that spread widely and people who flocked to him, following him around everywhere he went. They even planned on making him king. Not as cool as being the King of Kings. But it was a nice thought. A thought they apparently forgot about. Because a week before the Passover they paraded him into Jerusalem on a colt, spread clothing and palm branches on the ground in front of him, and only a week later chanted, "Crucify him!" And we thought our paparazzi was cruel. Today they throw around shameful pictures. Back then they thew rocks.
Whatever the headlines read, they wouldn't have been able to scribe words powerful enough to describe Jesus' life and sacrifice. He did so many things the last verses of John says,
"If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."
Wow. Just Wow. Think about that for a minute.
The word "king" signifies someone who possesses supreme power. And we've had a lot of King's. Martin Luther King, whose speeches and progress on civil and human rights will live on forever. Elvis, "the King of Rock 'n' Roll" and Michael Jackson, "King of Pop'", who left behind their music; sounds and moves that transcended time. But Jesus, THE KING OF KING'S, is the only King who died and rose again to tell about it. He is the only King who is still alive today!
"Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen." 1Timothy 1:17
"...God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen." 1 Timothy 6:15-16
*Thanks to cameraphonejunkie.com for this amazing pic!
Rainbow for Me!
God is just that cool. He's the kind of friend who, while you're in the car talking about His promises and how the flood you've been trying to doggy-paddle your way through is just about to consume you, He sends a rainbow. A big, splendid reminder that He promised the earth and everything living on it would never again be destroyed by a flood. By a flood of emotions, a flood of failure, a flood of fear, a flood of anger, a flood of anything that overwhelms us and keeps us from God's goodness and grace.
What rocks about God is that he not only makes solemn promises to us, his creation, but he KEEPS those promises! Now that's the kind of authority I want on my side- the kind you know you can trust. Check out with me in Romans 8:28 what God does when we love him and accept that we are here for a reason...
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
Wow...when we are gasping for breath under a flood of doubt and circumstance, God will work it out. And, what's awesome about our Daddy is that he will work it out for our good. He doesn't just make things happen, he causes them to work in our favor! Now, I can work me some issues out, believe me, I've had plenty of issues, but I cannot, no matter how hard I try, work them out for my benefit alone, every single time. But God can. He benefits us, if we'll just love him. Even I can handle that.
What rocks about God is that he not only makes solemn promises to us, his creation, but he KEEPS those promises! Now that's the kind of authority I want on my side- the kind you know you can trust. Check out with me in Romans 8:28 what God does when we love him and accept that we are here for a reason...
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
Wow...when we are gasping for breath under a flood of doubt and circumstance, God will work it out. And, what's awesome about our Daddy is that he will work it out for our good. He doesn't just make things happen, he causes them to work in our favor! Now, I can work me some issues out, believe me, I've had plenty of issues, but I cannot, no matter how hard I try, work them out for my benefit alone, every single time. But God can. He benefits us, if we'll just love him. Even I can handle that.
So God, knowing my husband and I were smack dab in the middle of a discussion concerning our current flood, sent a rainbow! Just for us. It was perfectly timed. Like all things with God are, and was a magnificent reminder that he will not let us be destroyed. He is fulfilling his promise. Won't you let him do the same for you?
Your turn. Is there a time when God did something just for you and it was perfectly timed? Share your experience in the comments below. I'd love to hear about it!
Your turn. Is there a time when God did something just for you and it was perfectly timed? Share your experience in the comments below. I'd love to hear about it!
6.16.2009
Secret to Youth & Long Life...Really!
In a Chinese Valley near Bama, there is a longevity cluster. It's a village with only 500 residents, where six of them are centenarians. Tourists, of course, are now flocking to this village trying to get their hands on the secret to long life. There is some kind of magic that runs throughout the valley. The supernatural potion is in the water. Or the home grown food. Maybe in the soil or the grass or the air that surrounds a mysterious magnetic field. But it is there. Somewhere. These thousands of people believe it is anyway. That a magical key that opens the door to lengthening our very mortal days is just waiting to be unearthed. Hotels are going up. I'm sure that will help. I mean, what a better way to preserve their simple, organic way of life than to bring in skyscrapers and souveneir shops. They are now marketing the villages all fresh and natural foods in a variety of packaging (kinda loses it's freshness that way doesn't it?) and bottling their special, sometimes unconventional, serums in the brand new businesses now springing up.
The thousands of tourists stay for weeks and months on end just to drink the pure blue, low alkalityity water, eat the home grown food, and hang around the magnetic fiield all hoping to absorb some kind of physical preservation. My favorite part is that these tourists spend hours watching, yes, just standing around gazing, as the villagers go about their day doing their chores. Doing nothing. Brilliant. That will definately help you live longer. What I love about this 'news' story, is that the Western scientists who study these longevity clusters say it has nothing to do with the lifestyle or surroundings many credit for the added decades of these villagers. It's what the villagers were born with. It is in their DNA. This is how they live so long, they were simply created to. Bummer for all those hoping to learn some secret for long life, eh? Well don't despair just yet. I know how you can add length to your days.
The answer was found on ancient scrolls.
They were written just for you.
You too were created to live long beyond your years...
You were created to live forever.
So how the heck do we get the answer!?
We ask for it!
Seriously. It's that simple. We ask God to save us from death. We ask Him to live in us, to guide us, to give us length of days, for ever and ever. He gave us His word, the Bible, which contains all the answers on how to live eternally with Him. And what do we learn from His word? To ask. To ask Him into our lives. Once He's there, in every aspect of our life, He will direct our paths and help us make right decisions by following His commandments and using the words He gave us in the Bible to gain understaning. Through Wisdom we will prosper with eternal life in Heaven. We will mess up. Absolutely. Positively. Everyone of us does. But we can be saved. Not as a liscense to sin, but because Christ loved us so much He already gave His life so we could live ours forever. The bonus, as if there could be one on top of eternal life, is that God wants us to be renewed in our physical bodies as well. That's right! He wants us to live in health during our days one earth. Our days mind you, that He will lengthen!
Don't believe me? Read for yourself:
Psalm 21 (For the director of music. A psalm of David.)
1 O LORD, the king rejoices in your strength.
How great is his joy in the victories you give!
2 You have granted him the desire of his heart
and have not withheld the request of his lips.
Selah (weigh these things thoughtfully; pause to reflect)
3 You welcomed him with rich blessings
and placed a crown of pure gold on his head.
4 He asked you for life, and you gave it to him—
length of days, for ever and ever.
5 Through the victories you gave, his glory is great;
you have bestowed on him splendor and majesty.
6 Surely you have granted him eternal blessings
and made him glad with the joy of your presence.
Proverbs 3 (The Rewards of Wisdom)
1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
But let your heart keep my commandments;
2 For length of days and years of life
And peace they will add to you.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.
16 Long life is in her right hand;
In her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways
And all her paths are peace.
18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who hold her fast.
21 My son, let them not vanish from your sight;
Keep sound wisdom and discretion,
22 So they will be life to your soul
Proverbs 4:4
Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.
Psalm 103:5
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
As christians...we ARE the LONGEVITY CLUSTER! Ask for your eternal life today. God is listening. God is able. God wants you to have it, so take hold of it right now.
Daddy, we come before you today and ask for your wisdom. Breathe her into every area of our lives. May she guide us in every decision, every direction, every thought. Come into our lives and fill us with your presence. Help us worship you with our actions and tongues. We ask you Lord, as David did, for life eternal with you. If any of us does not already know you, may they ask you into their lives right now. And for those of us who claim we do, may we come to know you better. So be it; truly. We love you Lord, you are so good!
The thousands of tourists stay for weeks and months on end just to drink the pure blue, low alkalityity water, eat the home grown food, and hang around the magnetic fiield all hoping to absorb some kind of physical preservation. My favorite part is that these tourists spend hours watching, yes, just standing around gazing, as the villagers go about their day doing their chores. Doing nothing. Brilliant. That will definately help you live longer. What I love about this 'news' story, is that the Western scientists who study these longevity clusters say it has nothing to do with the lifestyle or surroundings many credit for the added decades of these villagers. It's what the villagers were born with. It is in their DNA. This is how they live so long, they were simply created to. Bummer for all those hoping to learn some secret for long life, eh? Well don't despair just yet. I know how you can add length to your days.
The answer was found on ancient scrolls.
They were written just for you.
You too were created to live long beyond your years...
You were created to live forever.
So how the heck do we get the answer!?
We ask for it!
Seriously. It's that simple. We ask God to save us from death. We ask Him to live in us, to guide us, to give us length of days, for ever and ever. He gave us His word, the Bible, which contains all the answers on how to live eternally with Him. And what do we learn from His word? To ask. To ask Him into our lives. Once He's there, in every aspect of our life, He will direct our paths and help us make right decisions by following His commandments and using the words He gave us in the Bible to gain understaning. Through Wisdom we will prosper with eternal life in Heaven. We will mess up. Absolutely. Positively. Everyone of us does. But we can be saved. Not as a liscense to sin, but because Christ loved us so much He already gave His life so we could live ours forever. The bonus, as if there could be one on top of eternal life, is that God wants us to be renewed in our physical bodies as well. That's right! He wants us to live in health during our days one earth. Our days mind you, that He will lengthen!
Don't believe me? Read for yourself:
Psalm 21 (For the director of music. A psalm of David.)
1 O LORD, the king rejoices in your strength.
How great is his joy in the victories you give!
2 You have granted him the desire of his heart
and have not withheld the request of his lips.
Selah (weigh these things thoughtfully; pause to reflect)
3 You welcomed him with rich blessings
and placed a crown of pure gold on his head.
4 He asked you for life, and you gave it to him—
length of days, for ever and ever.
5 Through the victories you gave, his glory is great;
you have bestowed on him splendor and majesty.
6 Surely you have granted him eternal blessings
and made him glad with the joy of your presence.
Proverbs 3 (The Rewards of Wisdom)
1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
But let your heart keep my commandments;
2 For length of days and years of life
And peace they will add to you.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.
16 Long life is in her right hand;
In her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways
And all her paths are peace.
18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who hold her fast.
21 My son, let them not vanish from your sight;
Keep sound wisdom and discretion,
22 So they will be life to your soul
Proverbs 4:4
Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.
Psalm 103:5
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
As christians...we ARE the LONGEVITY CLUSTER! Ask for your eternal life today. God is listening. God is able. God wants you to have it, so take hold of it right now.
Daddy, we come before you today and ask for your wisdom. Breathe her into every area of our lives. May she guide us in every decision, every direction, every thought. Come into our lives and fill us with your presence. Help us worship you with our actions and tongues. We ask you Lord, as David did, for life eternal with you. If any of us does not already know you, may they ask you into their lives right now. And for those of us who claim we do, may we come to know you better. So be it; truly. We love you Lord, you are so good!
Daily Walk
foot to concrete
concrete to soul
repeat
repeat
repeat until your heart is pumping with promise
repeat until your breath is the sound of earth's pride
pause
smell the petunias
chase a lizard
turn up the volume of your soul
sun to eyes
eyes to sky
sky to beauty
beauty to Christ
Christ to mind
feet to pavement
pavement to spirit
walk
walk
walk until you meet who you've become
walk until you read beauty on the pages of your sorrow
stop
find yourself in a new day
rest your thoughts in God's hand
drink in the restoration of your spirit
mind to God
God to peace
peace to sweet
sweet to dreams
dreams to fulfilled
6.15.2009
Broken Earrings
The last few times I've worn my favorite earrings they've flown off whenever I hug someone...or get too animated...or dance around suddenly...and if you know me you know I hug everyone, long past the moment where it becomes uncomfortable for the poor stranger I am smothering, and my gestures tend to span the entirety of any space I dwell...and I am always, unashamedly, breaking out into sudden robotic moves paired with a little move I like to call the 'Running Rabbit'. Not the Running Man. Not the Roger Rabbit. The Running Rabbit. I do a little jig of each and they combine for a mind blowing display of sweetness! At least in my mind.
So you can see that a person of my, shall we say, energy, cannot go around stabbing people in the face with a runaway earring every time I breathe. The last time I removed my illustriously large silver hoops, I paused before placing them back in their bed of foam and felt. I considered tossing them in the tin trash can next to my jewel tower. My heart skipped a tearful beat at the thought of never wearing my prized circles-of-silver again. But they could no longer serve their purpose. They were broken. Worthless, really. Certainly not worth saving.
As I swaddled those precious metal loops in my hand, taking a moment to honor the joy they always gave my ears, I thought about my own purpose. I too was like those broken earrings once. Worthless, and certainly not worth saving. I felt so broken that I assumed God would simple discard me, toss my calling aside, and replace me with a more Godly, virtuous woman who could actually serve her purpose.
But God saved me. He scooped me up, wrapped me in His healing balm of grace, broken dreams and all, and loved me into His own precious gem. I was not only repaired, but restored. He gave me back my dreams. He returned my purpose. He put my weakened spirit back into existence so I could be used again. Only this time I could recognize the image He made me from...His. I was made not only whole, but stronger, more compassionate, more confident in who I am as a woman of God. With my leather bound toolbox, I continue to use every implement God gave to continue His healing over my life. Those scriptures make me feel refreshed, at peace, and once again able to see that I am, despite all the times I still stab people in the heart with my runaway attitude, able to be used by God.
My favorite earrings never made it into the trash. Instead of tossing them aside, I wrapped them in gauze and set out to mend the weakened clasp that could no longer hold the post in place. I got out my tool box and tightened the prongs, so once again, they could serve their purpose. I then took the time to meticulously clean every inch of those silver hoops, making them better than they were when I bought them. And just like me, they are restored. Purposeful. Worth more than rubies. Sparkling with pride simply because they were given a second chance. A chance we are all offered, if only we'll seek God, being confident that He who began a good work in us, will carry it on to completion.
So you can see that a person of my, shall we say, energy, cannot go around stabbing people in the face with a runaway earring every time I breathe. The last time I removed my illustriously large silver hoops, I paused before placing them back in their bed of foam and felt. I considered tossing them in the tin trash can next to my jewel tower. My heart skipped a tearful beat at the thought of never wearing my prized circles-of-silver again. But they could no longer serve their purpose. They were broken. Worthless, really. Certainly not worth saving.
As I swaddled those precious metal loops in my hand, taking a moment to honor the joy they always gave my ears, I thought about my own purpose. I too was like those broken earrings once. Worthless, and certainly not worth saving. I felt so broken that I assumed God would simple discard me, toss my calling aside, and replace me with a more Godly, virtuous woman who could actually serve her purpose.
But God saved me. He scooped me up, wrapped me in His healing balm of grace, broken dreams and all, and loved me into His own precious gem. I was not only repaired, but restored. He gave me back my dreams. He returned my purpose. He put my weakened spirit back into existence so I could be used again. Only this time I could recognize the image He made me from...His. I was made not only whole, but stronger, more compassionate, more confident in who I am as a woman of God. With my leather bound toolbox, I continue to use every implement God gave to continue His healing over my life. Those scriptures make me feel refreshed, at peace, and once again able to see that I am, despite all the times I still stab people in the heart with my runaway attitude, able to be used by God.
My favorite earrings never made it into the trash. Instead of tossing them aside, I wrapped them in gauze and set out to mend the weakened clasp that could no longer hold the post in place. I got out my tool box and tightened the prongs, so once again, they could serve their purpose. I then took the time to meticulously clean every inch of those silver hoops, making them better than they were when I bought them. And just like me, they are restored. Purposeful. Worth more than rubies. Sparkling with pride simply because they were given a second chance. A chance we are all offered, if only we'll seek God, being confident that He who began a good work in us, will carry it on to completion.
6.08.2009
My Child
Okay, Jesus did not say the words written in the book of Timothy in the Bible. For those of us who dropped out of Bible school, we know this simply because the words are not printed in red ink. I know, it took some serious research to figure that out. My unholificated soul just wanted to make sure I was not about to lie to you about the things of God as I do not intend on getting struck down by lightning today. Or tomorrow. I admit I do not wish to ever, including today and tomorrow, plan on getting struck by lightning or dropping dead from taking communion or offering up an unholy sacrifice. If that happens, it would suck. Mostly for me. But at least I know I would get to go to heaven, even if I did mess up a few theologically doctrinated facts.
So, as I relay to you what my Children's Bible says, with no drawn out 'interpretations' or difficult to understand theories(not to be confused with the sometimes difficult to understand theologies), please to not immediately close my blog and dial up God to tell on me. I'm pretty sure he already knows where I stand on Biblical principals as we do talk everyday. He's actually the one I've been doing my Bible study with, which, I know, will not get me an accreditation from a big Seminary or University and I know my certificate is not, in fact, in the mail, but I have decided to forgo my theology diploma and just trust my relationship with my Father on this one. Well, on everything actually.
Since Jesus, aka, God, did not scribe the letters to Timothy, we find out through a very yawnful historical parade of detailed facts and background, that 1st & 2nd Timothy (along with the book of Titus) were in fact written by the Apostle Paul. I say 'yawnful' above not to discredit, disrespect, dishonor, disholify, I think I got them all, the amazing history behind the Apostle Paul's ministry, but because, seriously, you are already about to fall asleep on me & I haven't even gotten started. So, for the sake of length, I will leave it as 'yawnful' for now. Okay, for forever. I am not coming back to this post & rewriting it with a longer, more fact-packed version, so no need to check back, secretly, every day, every hour, like I know you want to.
These books of the Bible provide details of three letters that Paul wrote, one of which was to Timothy. Hence this book of the Bible's name, Timothy. Seriously, it's taken me years to try and figure out why all the books of the Bible were not simply named after the person who wrote them, but then again, I did not write the Bible. Clearly. Or it would not be such a bless-ed, anointed, life changing book of facts describing events that led to our salvation through Jesus Christ and the ability to have a relationship with our very own creator. Had I written the Bible, I wouldn't have gotten the facts exactly the way they happened. I would have colored the Word of God with sarcasm and fabricated stories where I always came out looking heroic and holy. I definitely would have written myself into the character of David.
"And she stood, bazooka-esque-sling-shot in hand, whirling it with a powerful yet graceful swing directly towards the crotch of the beast they called Goliath. Then, the mighty, majestic, Laura Logan, with her incomparable beauty, brought the giant to it's knees where it begged her to have mercy on it's wretched soul. Having no such compassion for the weak buffoon, the awesomeness of the magnificent , Laura Logan, kicked Goliath right in the..." and you see why I was not chosen to relay God's message of hope and love and wisdom to all mankind for generations to come.
But Paul was. He was a reputable, reliable kinda guy that God could trust to carry the baton of His Word into the hearts of His people. And Paul did not, as we've all done...especially,head bows in shame, me...take that baton and shoved it where the spirit doesn't shine, and by default, miss the heart of those God was trying to reach! All in the name of God, right? Well Paul did write in the name of God. He wrote a very heartfelt letter to his young protégé, Timothy, who was not happy in his church in Ephesus. Sound familiar? I don't know anyone who hasn't disliked their church at some point, including pastors themselves. Anyone who says otherwise, lied.
Timothy was, or later became, one of Paul's most constant companions to whom Paul wrote in his letter (which later became known as 2nd Timothy 2:1):
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus.
But they were not just words from Paul written to Timothy. They were God's words, speaking directly to us. Paul was an instrument God used to get His message to us, his children. A message that calls us out by name.
It wasn't the part about grace that caught my attention in this verse, or even that God is telling us to be strengthened by the grace in Him. It is the two words, 'my child', that struck me. I love that God takes the moment to pause in His sentence to call us out in such an endearing way. It is as if He is calling us by name saying, 'You then, Laura, be strengthened by my grace.' He does this also, because later in the chapter He gives correction and direction to 'His children'. How does a parent interact with their child, they draw them in, get their attention, specify who they are talking to, so they can get through to their child.
This is where some argue saying that this wasn't meant for us, today, to get some knowledge from, and by saying God is speaking to us, I am doing the very thing I said I wouldn't...interpret the Words of the Most High God. But seriously? If it was originally intended to be just a private letter to Timothy, why then would they bother saving it, translating it, and publishing it in the Bible? Obviously God knew how many people would suffer the same struggles as Timothy. He called us to be held accountable to the same standards and purpose as He did Timothy and His church. God knew, eons later we would be reading Paul's words, God's words, from our living room in a reader-friendly version bound in leather. He is our Father. He was reaching out to us through Paul.
God paused to call us His Child. It seems like more than ever we are being disappointed by man. We are hurt by the evil actions from the pure intended. We are being hurt by the very people we are supposed to be able to trust and rely on. We are being hurt. But not by God. Not our Daddy. He is protecting us in His fatherly embrace, calling us 'my child' so we'll understand how it is we are able to be strengthened...like a child learning to walk whose parent holds their hand as they wobble along; like a parent feeding their child nutrients so they may grow strong...that is how we make it through the hurts, how we are strengthened even when we feel defeated...by looking to our Father to hold us up and keep feeding our spirits with His love, and with His peace, and with His wisdom.
Next time you ache from disappointment, listen for God's pause. He truly knows everything we endure and cares enough to tell us so by sending His fatherly grace as a source of strength just for us, His children. He pauses for you, simply to say your name!
So, as I relay to you what my Children's Bible says, with no drawn out 'interpretations' or difficult to understand theories(not to be confused with the sometimes difficult to understand theologies), please to not immediately close my blog and dial up God to tell on me. I'm pretty sure he already knows where I stand on Biblical principals as we do talk everyday. He's actually the one I've been doing my Bible study with, which, I know, will not get me an accreditation from a big Seminary or University and I know my certificate is not, in fact, in the mail, but I have decided to forgo my theology diploma and just trust my relationship with my Father on this one. Well, on everything actually.
Since Jesus, aka, God, did not scribe the letters to Timothy, we find out through a very yawnful historical parade of detailed facts and background, that 1st & 2nd Timothy (along with the book of Titus) were in fact written by the Apostle Paul. I say 'yawnful' above not to discredit, disrespect, dishonor, disholify, I think I got them all, the amazing history behind the Apostle Paul's ministry, but because, seriously, you are already about to fall asleep on me & I haven't even gotten started. So, for the sake of length, I will leave it as 'yawnful' for now. Okay, for forever. I am not coming back to this post & rewriting it with a longer, more fact-packed version, so no need to check back, secretly, every day, every hour, like I know you want to.
These books of the Bible provide details of three letters that Paul wrote, one of which was to Timothy. Hence this book of the Bible's name, Timothy. Seriously, it's taken me years to try and figure out why all the books of the Bible were not simply named after the person who wrote them, but then again, I did not write the Bible. Clearly. Or it would not be such a bless-ed, anointed, life changing book of facts describing events that led to our salvation through Jesus Christ and the ability to have a relationship with our very own creator. Had I written the Bible, I wouldn't have gotten the facts exactly the way they happened. I would have colored the Word of God with sarcasm and fabricated stories where I always came out looking heroic and holy. I definitely would have written myself into the character of David.
"And she stood, bazooka-esque-sling-shot in hand, whirling it with a powerful yet graceful swing directly towards the crotch of the beast they called Goliath. Then, the mighty, majestic, Laura Logan, with her incomparable beauty, brought the giant to it's knees where it begged her to have mercy on it's wretched soul. Having no such compassion for the weak buffoon, the awesomeness of the magnificent , Laura Logan, kicked Goliath right in the..." and you see why I was not chosen to relay God's message of hope and love and wisdom to all mankind for generations to come.
But Paul was. He was a reputable, reliable kinda guy that God could trust to carry the baton of His Word into the hearts of His people. And Paul did not, as we've all done...especially,head bows in shame, me...take that baton and shoved it where the spirit doesn't shine, and by default, miss the heart of those God was trying to reach! All in the name of God, right? Well Paul did write in the name of God. He wrote a very heartfelt letter to his young protégé, Timothy, who was not happy in his church in Ephesus. Sound familiar? I don't know anyone who hasn't disliked their church at some point, including pastors themselves. Anyone who says otherwise, lied.
Timothy was, or later became, one of Paul's most constant companions to whom Paul wrote in his letter (which later became known as 2nd Timothy 2:1):
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus.
But they were not just words from Paul written to Timothy. They were God's words, speaking directly to us. Paul was an instrument God used to get His message to us, his children. A message that calls us out by name.
It wasn't the part about grace that caught my attention in this verse, or even that God is telling us to be strengthened by the grace in Him. It is the two words, 'my child', that struck me. I love that God takes the moment to pause in His sentence to call us out in such an endearing way. It is as if He is calling us by name saying, 'You then, Laura, be strengthened by my grace.' He does this also, because later in the chapter He gives correction and direction to 'His children'. How does a parent interact with their child, they draw them in, get their attention, specify who they are talking to, so they can get through to their child.
This is where some argue saying that this wasn't meant for us, today, to get some knowledge from, and by saying God is speaking to us, I am doing the very thing I said I wouldn't...interpret the Words of the Most High God. But seriously? If it was originally intended to be just a private letter to Timothy, why then would they bother saving it, translating it, and publishing it in the Bible? Obviously God knew how many people would suffer the same struggles as Timothy. He called us to be held accountable to the same standards and purpose as He did Timothy and His church. God knew, eons later we would be reading Paul's words, God's words, from our living room in a reader-friendly version bound in leather. He is our Father. He was reaching out to us through Paul.
God paused to call us His Child. It seems like more than ever we are being disappointed by man. We are hurt by the evil actions from the pure intended. We are being hurt by the very people we are supposed to be able to trust and rely on. We are being hurt. But not by God. Not our Daddy. He is protecting us in His fatherly embrace, calling us 'my child' so we'll understand how it is we are able to be strengthened...like a child learning to walk whose parent holds their hand as they wobble along; like a parent feeding their child nutrients so they may grow strong...that is how we make it through the hurts, how we are strengthened even when we feel defeated...by looking to our Father to hold us up and keep feeding our spirits with His love, and with His peace, and with His wisdom.
Next time you ache from disappointment, listen for God's pause. He truly knows everything we endure and cares enough to tell us so by sending His fatherly grace as a source of strength just for us, His children. He pauses for you, simply to say your name!
5.01.2009
Poetry Month's Farewell
April is over
Poetry Month has gone
I wish she could have lingered
so I could scribe life onto her pages
wrap my words around her figure like a silk sash
trust her with my systematic jewels
align my glass rocks for her pleasure
just once more
her thirty shiny days
vanished into May
shattering the delicate lucidity
the power her presence gave
I pick up the pieces meant to adorn
tucking them between worn
leather bound beds of parchment
protecting their beauty from
the Honored One's withdraw
until Aprils return
when I'll celebrate her rhyme
one more time
Poetry Month has gone
I wish she could have lingered
so I could scribe life onto her pages
wrap my words around her figure like a silk sash
trust her with my systematic jewels
align my glass rocks for her pleasure
just once more
her thirty shiny days
vanished into May
shattering the delicate lucidity
the power her presence gave
I pick up the pieces meant to adorn
tucking them between worn
leather bound beds of parchment
protecting their beauty from
the Honored One's withdraw
until Aprils return
when I'll celebrate her rhyme
one more time
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